Peer have been explained to be age-mate, class
mates, work-mate or people who share a lot things in common and from whom uniform or similar
results are expected, in this sense, every person on earth has his or her
peers. In fact, only God is said to be peerless, that is, He is matchless,
unequaled and has no age mate.
Peer
pressure is that driving force that propels an individual to strive to achieve
what his peer or just one of his peers has achieved. There is that unwritten
rule that individuals always compare their achievements with those of their
counterparts/peers.
How to Cope With Peer Pressure:
Peer pressure has been identified as being at the
root of most if not all youth problems. Youth are not the only ones affected by
peer pressure. Peer pressure is the force behind most actions. People do things
because their colleagues, classmate age-mate or others they consider to be in
competition with them are doing or about to do those things. The parents often
tell their children; “Your peer are doing this, why can’t you do it too?” These
statements can really compel youths to go to extremes in copying what other
youths do.
In
many places, especially in parts of southern-Eastern Nigeria Age Grades are
formal associations of people born within certain age bracket e.g 1960-1994. In
many countries, the age grade is run as strong social club. Levies are imposed
on members without regard to the income, status of individual members. This
arrangement imposed formidable stress on members who are cowed to accept the
dictates of the age-grade. There is enormous pressure on individual members to
achieve what others have achieved or in fact to go ahead of the rest. Nobody
wants to be the least in the age-grade. In this way, if somebody is lacking
‘anything’, he is often jeered at and asked to intimate his peers. When a young
man gains admission into a university, it becomes a challenge to the rest of
his peers, all of them aim to go to university too. If a young man marries,
other parents pressurize their young eligible bachelors to looks for a wife and
get married because his mate/age-mate members are getting married. When a man
builds a house, his peers are expected to start building too. It therefore goes
without saying that peer pressure is behind most actions of men. Peer pressure
is not necessarily bad itself. Adults can better cope with peer pressure and
can effectively manage it because from their wealth of experience, they can put
many things into the right perspective before taking a decision. For example, a
man who is reasonable cannot start building an upstairs just because two or
three members of his age-grades have done so. He must count the cost before
going into the project. It is necessary that youths consider the negative
influence of peer pressure before doing anything.
As
children grow up and become more aware of their environment, the influence of
their parent gradually wanes. They have a desire to be popular and to be
accepted by their peers. Because of the new bonds they form with their peers
and they have similar likes and dislikes, they develop the feeling that their
peers understand them better than their parents. At this stage they are quick
to tell parents, “you do not understand.” When there is no meaningful
communication between children and parents, children easily resort to their
peers. A child who lacks self- confidence and who has feelings of insecurity
easily becomes susceptible to peer pressure.
Now
ask yourself; “Am I being influenced? What are the telltale signs of being
under the undue influence of my peers?. What about my dressing? What about my
language? Do I do things naturally the way I would in my parent’s home or do I
do things just to belong? Have I ever been pressured to do things I ordinary
would not do? Am afraid to say no to peers when they want to press me into when
they want to press me into doing what I would not do. If your answers to most
of these questions are “yes” then you have a serious problem of peer pressure.
You do not need to learn on inexperience peer to direct you. At the same time,
you do not have to be over confident in yourself and ignore other people’s
opinion. The rule is developing thinking ability; think seriously about a
decision before you take it. Be balance in your assessment of what you want to
do. Know your priorities; know your wants and your needs. Satisfy your needs
first. If your want can also be satisfied give them serious thought before
deciding. Do not be afraid of your peer. Have confidence in yourself and they
will develop respect for you. Choose your friends carefully. Their desire to be
accepted by your peer can lead you into trap of violating your highly treasured
godly standards, listen to your parents. They can never deceive you. They want
the best for you and they want to guide you to achieve your desired goals in
life. Do not follow the crowd sheepishly. You will spare yourself a lot of
pains if you escape the trap of peer pressure and parents will be very happy
with you.
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